After going 38 weeks and 3 days with twin boys, one of our beautiful babies died to vasa previa and velamentous insertion of the umbilical cord.  Never in a million years would I have imagined our precious Matthew to die this way. During my pregnancy he had been the bigger, stronger baby… he was perfect, weighing 5.15 lbs.  During those nine months I did everything possible to ensure a healthy pregnancy.  And even though I had been a worry freak throughout most of that time my pregnancy was, like many women with vasa previa, picture perfect.

    Although I looked fine on the outside I was very concerned throughout the first few months. So much so that I requested my doctor to consider this pregnancy as high risk and to transfer me to a downtown high risk birthing centre. However, my OB/GYN thought I was overreacting and being paranoid. She never once considered me as high risk because she said I showed no symptoms. In fact I was told that I would be treated the same as a singleton pregnancy.    She brainwashed me into thinking everything was normal.  I put my trust in this doctor thinking she was the ‘professional’ dealing with pregnancies for so many years.

     The saddest day of my life was the 12th of January 2005.  Although I had been open to a caesarean, I was told by this doctor that a vaginal delivery was safest for me.  Since the babies were in two separate placentas I should deliver this way even though Twin B, Steven was breached. I went through the normal routine in the hospital: was checked, the doctor on shift broke my water, the contractions started and the anesthesiologist> gave me an epidural. As the contractions became stronger, some show of blood caught my eye but the nurse said this was normal in early labor. However, we now know what happened… one of the vessels was torn as Matthew’s head started to come down the canal but his head made a plug on my cervix.  He had started bleeding and the blood stayed inside my uterus but we don’t know for how long.  It could have been 30 minutes, an hour, several hours. That’s because from the time Matthew’s sac had been broken artificially to the time the next doctor on shift checked me, 5 hours had gone by.  It was around 4:00 pm when this next doctor on shift checked me.  It was at this moment when everything suddenly took a turn for the worse. As he checked me he must have moved Matthew’s head and as the baby shifted inside me, all that blood came out at once.  The doctor called it ‘old blood’. Within a minute, Matthew’s heartbeat dropped drastically from 140 beats per minute all the way to 40.  In an instant, the doctor said they were taking me in for an emergency cesarean and the babies were delivered.

    Twin A, Matthew, was delivered at 4:30 pm with no vital signs.  Twin B, Steven, was delivered at 4:31 pm. Steven was given to us immediately. The pediatricians and nurses worked on resuscitating Matthew but he did not survive.  He had lost too much blood, about 100 cc the doctor told us. My husband and I were in so much shock everything changed so drastically, so quickly…it felt like a very bad dream. At the time we did not know what had happened.  Even when the doctor showed us the placenta and told us how he died, it still didn’t make any sense.  How could I have gone nine months not knowing Matthew’s life had been in constant danger?  What angered me so much was the fact that I had specifically requested to be transferred to a high risk doctor but was denied the opportunity by my OB/GYN.

   That week in the hospital was very difficult.  Not only was I in total shock from losing Matthew but was told to immediately put my attention onto Steven.  I had to learn how to breastfeed, change him, wash him, etc. 

It has now been a few months since Matthew’s passing and it is still difficult.  Time is slowly healing but I have moments when time seems to stand still. I never knew the pain of loosing a child would hurt so much.  All our hopes, dreams and expectations for him have been taken away.

    Some people have made comments such as, ‘as least you have one’.  What’s worse is that others congratulated us on the birth of Steven but never mentioned Matthew.  I realize everybody deals with death differently and some people just do not know what to say.  I want those people to know that they should not be afraid to mention Matthew’s name or asks us how we are coping with his death.  Acknowledging that he existed comforts us.  Although we’re so happy with baby Steven, I took care of two babies inside me and now I only have one…Steven is not a consolation and does not replace Matthew!  Had Matthew survived I would be the happiest woman in the world with my two baby boys. I visit the cemetery as often as possible and I cry in desperation wishing that he would be home with us…the way it was suppose to be.  I know I will survive this tragedy but indeed I have experienced a lot of pain and suffering as the shocking aspects of his death exceed any imaginable account.

    I have set up a website dedicating it to Matthew and I include information on vasa previa.  I am hoping to raise awareness about this ‘silent killer’ so that other families will not go through the tragedy that our family has gone through. 

If you would like to visit Matthew’s website, please click on the link:   www.ourangelmatthew.com 

Video on Matthew and vasa previa:  YouTube - Our Angel Matthew 

Nuestro Angel Matthew (en espanol):  http://www.nuevodesigns.com/ourangelmatthew/aboutvp_esp.html